The front page headline of yesterday's Rocky Mountain News proclaims
It is a quote from a Denver cab driver about, yes, driving a cab in Denver.
I guess it is a lot like slavery except for the money. And the ability to quit and get another job. And the lack of beatings by management. And the abili ty to keep your kids.
Denver Post sportswriter Natalie Meisler had this to say about the head football coaches at Air Force and Colorado State:
". . . legendary coaches Fisher DeBerry and Sonny Lubick, respectively, built powerhouse programs that have fallen on hard times . . ."
"Powerhouse progams?" Southern California, Ohio State, Alabama, Michigan, Florida and programs of that stature are "powerhouses." Air Force and Colorado State? Nope. Never.
As Inigo Montoya, in The Princess Bride, said about the use of a particular word, "I do not think it means what you think it means."
The Wikipedia entry on actress Ava Gardner describes her as “exotic.”
Gardner was born in Johnston County, North Carolina. I have spent time in Johnson County, North Carolina. Being born in Johnston County, North Carolina, precludes one from being “exotic.”
Gardner was definitely beautiful. “Exotic” she was not.
The Rocky Mountain News ran an Associated Press story by Sarah Karush on a federal judge declaring the Bush administration's warrantless wiretapping unconstitutional.
The first paragraph of the article states that the judge "ordered an immediate end to it."
Eight paragraphs later, the article states "the ruling won't take immediate effect."
Well, "aloha" means both "hello" and "goodbye,"
Perhaps "immediate" also means "sometime later."
ESPN.com has a poll captioned "Best Monday Night Football Moment."
There are twenty choices. Among them:
"Dick Anderson intercepts Terry Bradshaw four times (Dec. 3, 1973)"
"Bo Jackson rambles for 221 yards (Dec. 30, 1987)"
"Earl Campbell runs for 199 yards and four touchdowns (Nov. 20, 1978) "
"Jerry Rice's 3 touchdown catches to set NFL career record (Sept. 5, 1994""
"Rookie Randy Moss goes for 5 catches, 190 yards and two touchdowns (Oct. 5, 1998)"
None of these choices is a solitary moment.
Dick Anderson had four interceptions. That's four moments.
Bo Jackson ran for 221 yards. Since a football field is 100 yards long, that was at least three moments.
Earl Campbell? At least three moments.
Jerry Rice? Three.
Randy Moss? Five.
Threse people are paid to write. They should use the English language correctly. Perhaps they meant to ask for the "Best Monday Night Football Performance." That, however, is not what they asked.
Another option is "Howard Cosell announces John Lennon's been killed (Dec. 8, 1980)."
That probably qualifies as a "moment." But it certainly is not the "best" anything. Perhaps the "saddest" moment or "most shocking" moment. But "best?" No.
I am no Joe Theisman fan, but it is a little cruel to make "Lawrence Taylor breaks Joe Theismann's leg (Nov. 18, 1985)" an option.
Two options encompass entire games: "John Elway and Joe Montana in shootout (Oct. 17, 1994)" and "Brett Favre wins one for his father (Dec. 22, 2003)."
Indeed, it strains credulity to claim a three hour professional football game qualifies as a mere "moment." A "moment" is, of course, an imprecise measurement, but not that imprecise.
