BlueCarp

Aaron J. Lopez, in today's edition of the Rocky Mountain News, opened his story like this:

Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili are basketball's equivalent of a computer virus.

With proper security measures, they can be detected and quarantined before doing much harm to the network. Without an effective firewall, they will run wild and crash an operating system.

He ended it like this:

As any computer user knows, it is vital to protect the hard drive.

He forced that metaphor into a basketball story like a petite dress on Rosie O'Donnell. And it was just as ugly.

Posted by BlueCarp at 01:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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From today's edition of the Rocky Mountain News:

"Former Nuggets dancer Kaui Beamer, from MTV's Taquita & Kaui, will perform the national anthem" at tonight's playoff game.

Little known fact, but she was named after a Hawaiian auto dealership.

I must say, however, I am not familiar with the television program. Does it concern those things on the spinning grill next to the hotdogs at 7-11?

Posted by BlueCarp at 01:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Well, "hate' may be a little too strong, but it is damned annoying.

When you go to ESPN.com, the little video player near the upper right corner will automatically start playing.

I usually keep three or four windows open, and flit back and forth depending on what I am doing. (Some might call that an inability to focus, I like to call it "multitasking." Thank you Bill Gates.)

I will frequently go to ESPN.com and immediately minimize the window before it completely loads. (Yes, I have a cable connection. Do you think I'm a caveman? ... Wait, don't answer that.)

I go about my business with the minimized ESPN.com. Usually, I am listening to the now completely legal Napster or perhaps XM radio.

All of a sudden, and completely unexpectedly, I will hear a commercial playing from ESPN.com. When it first occurred, I had no idea what was going on, and I was frightened and confused.

After a short period of time (five or six months), however, I figured it out. ESPN.com plays commercials before it streams highlights or Stewart Scott yelling Ebonics.

I immediately decided to post this scathing comment.

ESPN.com does not even have an option to disable this absolute annoyance.

It has made CBS' Sportsline.com that much more attractive.

Posted by BlueCarp at 06:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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I am a fat guy. I do my best to keep my bare belly covered in public.

I ask all of my fat brothers and sisters to join me in this effort.

Please.

Posted by BlueCarp at 08:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Want to know more about me? Learn more about my son.

Check out his MySpace page.

If you study it, you will find out my dad is a great-grandfather. And his wife is a fine looking great-grandmother.

Posted by BlueCarp at 08:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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I've been distracted from blogging for several reasons, not the least of which was the discovery of Twitter. Check it out.

I will be back, however, stronger, faster and better.

Posted by BlueCarp at 08:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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I was a criminal defense attorney for two years.

And I was proud of it.

The Duke University lacrosse case explains why.

Anybody can be accused of anything by anybody at any time. Accusation is not proof.

Innocent people get accused. They deserve a defense.

Guilty people get accused too. They deserve a defense. Why? Because they might not be guilty, after all. People get released from jail all the time after their innocence comes to light.

Even people guiltier than sin get accused. They deserve a defense. Why? Because the cops are human. The prosecuting attorneys are human. Witnesses are human. And, yes, the accused is human, too.

Sometimes one of the humans involved in the process makes a mistake. Sometimes they lie. Sometimes they commit fraud. Sometimes they plant evidence. Even if the accused is guilty, he should be protected from lies, fraud, fake evidence and the plain old mistake.

If we do not do our best to protect those that are guilty as sin, we can not protect those that are innocent as lambs. If the humans involved in the process can get away with lies, fraud and mistakes against the truly guilty, they can get away with it against the innocent.

Criminal defense attorneys sometimes represent the scum of the earth. Everyday, they represent you.

Posted by BlueCarp at 02:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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I hate that cliché.

First, it is not true. Once a fire is extinguished, the wood still smolders. Paper can get hot enough to smoke, yet not flame.

Second, the implication is outrageous. The user of the phrase is saying that only bad people are accused of bad things.

“If someone has been accused (the smoke), they must have done it (the fire).”

Tell that to the Duke lacrosse team.

The only truth about smoke is that it makes it harder to see.

Posted by BlueCarp at 02:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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"Barry better be unanimous. 100 percent, first ballot. If the Hall of Fame is what it stands for, how can the greatest player ever to play the game not be a unanimous selection?"

Jeff Borris, agent, on his client Barry Bonds.

1. Because he is a 'roided up jerk.

2. Because he is not the greatest player ever.

3. Because Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron, Ty Cobb and Bob Gibson were not unanimous, 100 percent, first ballot admittees.

4. Because the Baseball Hall of Fame is not the DuPont Hall of Fame. Cooperstown does not honor better living through chemistry.

Posted by BlueCarp at 02:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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From page 20 of today's Rocky Mountain News:

I think it's a shame my father can't take his own grandson to America's pastime and share the stories about Jackie Robinson breaking into the major leagues.

Sen. Peter Groff, D-Denver, saying the voter approved ethics measure Amendment 41 prevents him and his son from using his father's Rockies season tickets.

Quit selling that load of crap. There is plenty wrong with Amendment 41, but it ain't keeping your dad from telling your son about Jackie Robinson.

All three of you can go to Rockies games as long as YOU buy the tickets.

Quit whining, open your wallet and enjoy the game.

Posted by BlueCarp at 06:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Willow Bay is back, bay-bee!

I have always thought she was a complete babe.

Now she can be seen on Lifetime. She hosts a show called "Spotlight 25." The ad blurbs ask "What do today's 25-year-old women have to say about life, love, sex and trying to have it all?"

I don't know. But Willow does.

As much as I love her, I think she made a mistake with her stage name. "Willow Bay" sounds like an apartment complex. Or maybe a resort in Minnesota.

Posted by BlueCarp at 03:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Sanjaya Malakar is still "singing" each week on American Idol. At first, I thought it was just a matter of time before his fanbase of 12 year old girls who think he's sooooo cuuuuute would fail to keep him on the show.

No longer. He could win the thing. He is so bad, his support is growing. And I am the newest Sanjaya fan.

He is not just a train wreck: He is a commuter train running head on into a troop of charging elephants.

Television has created fame where no talent exists for years. Sanjaya is the ultimate conclusion.

He is the logical product of everything reality television mogul Mark Brunett has created. We should embrace Sanjaya. We should crown him the King of Crappy entertainment.

Much like a kid who is forced to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes, we should make American Idol crown Sanjaya its champion.

We need not worry about the good singers on the show. Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones have done enough. They will get their record deals even if they get voted off next.

Chris Daughtry came in fifth last year. Taylor Hicks won. Daughtry has a number one song. Hicks does number one.

Winning does not matter. The exposure matters.

Let's expose American Idol. Vote Sanjaya. He's soooo cuuuuute.

Posted by BlueCarp at 02:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

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Terrence Howard's new movie, Pride, is about inner-city black youth who become competitive swimmers.

It is based on the true story of Jim Ellis, who taught a group of kids in Philadelphia how to compete and win back in 1974.

Posted by BlueCarp at 02:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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