BlueCarp

Posted by BlueCarp at 07:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Tennesse Titan cornerback Adam Jones goes by the nickname "Pacman."

I know it was just a preseason game, but the way Bronco receiver Rod Smith abused him Saturday night, Rod should go by either Inky, Blinky, Pinky or Clyde.

Posted by BlueCarp at 09:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Lisa Kennedy, Denver Post film critic, writes today about the "the proliferation of things loud, proud and spoken with an unmistakable twang" throughout the United States.

Her thesis is that NASCAR, the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and the like have taken hold across the country. She points to the success of Will Ferrell's movie "Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" and the popularity of Larry the Cable Guy in support.

So far, so good.

She then asks if the glorification of southern culture is a good thing, since it "has been tied closely to bigotry."

I am tired of this ill-conceived stereotype. Too many, for some reason, believe bigotry was born in the backwoods of Missippi where it slowly spread throughout the southeastern states before being confined to the Confederacy by Abe Lincoln. 

Yes, I am a southerner. Yes, bigotry exists in the south. I resent the implication that somehow the south is more bigoted than any other region.

Even in Abe's Union army, the all black 54th Massachusetts Infantry was subject to less-than-equal treatment. Indeed, they were subject to homegrown, Yankee bigotry.

Boston is 1500 miles northeast of Natchez, Mississippi.

In 1986, three black teenagers were assaulted by white kids in Howards Beach, New York. Again, this bigotry was homegrown, New York City-style.

The Big Apple is 900 miles northeast of Huntsville, Alabama.

Where was homosexual teenager Matthew Shepard killed? Shepard was the victim of homegrown, Laramie, Wyoming bigotry.

Savannah, Georgia, is 1800 miles southeast of Laramie.

Laramie is 1800 miles northwest of Savannah, Georgia.

The list goes on. And on.

The South is not the birthplace of, nor a special incubator for, bigotry.

Posted by BlueCarp at 04:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Spike Lee, in today's edition of USA WEEKEND, pimps his new documentary on the aftermath of hurricane Katrina.

He was asked if New Orleans should be rebuilt. Spike said

Absolutely, even though the city is below sea level. We just have to make sure we do it right. Two-thirds of the Netherlands is [at or] below sea level. How is it that they can build such a strong levee system and we can't?

Well, Spike, the Netherlands rarely have hurricanes. This is why their levees are hurricane proof.

It is akin to asking why the people of Omaha can build earthquake proof buildings or why the buildings in Siberia are immune to wildfires.

Posted by BlueCarp at 11:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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The Rocky Mountain News ran an Associated Press story by Sarah Karush on a federal judge declaring the Bush administration's warrantless wiretapping unconstitutional.

The first paragraph of the article states that the judge "ordered an immediate end to it."

Eight paragraphs later, the article states "the ruling won't take immediate effect."

Well, "aloha" means both "hello" and "goodbye,"

Perhaps "immediate" also means "sometime later."

Posted by BlueCarp at 12:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Rocky Mountain News editorial page editor Vincent Carroll says he is "wavering" on whether or not driving while on a cell phone should be illegal. 

Posted by BlueCarp at 08:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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I called out Rocky second baseman Jamey Carroll for having “Small Town” played before each at bat, even though he was born in a city of more than 300,000 people.

I must, therefore, give catcher Danny Ardoin his props. His theme song is “Boondocks” by country band Little Big Town. The song contains the lyric “I was born and raised in the boondocks.”

Ardoin is from Mamou, Louisiana, a town of 3,566 people. The town has an area of 1.4 miles. That, my friends, is indeed the boondocks.

The song is especially appropriate since it ends with the line “say a little prayer for me.” He went 0-3 tonight and is now hitting .194. He could use a little prayer.

It is never good when you can go 1-5 and raise your batting average.

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There was a bench clearing brawl in the top of the eighth inning after Rocky reliever Jose Mesa hit Luis Gonzalez with a pitch. And by "bench clearing brawl" I mean both dugouts and both bullpens emptied and all the players from both teams mingled around the pitching mound talking about current events.

Posted by BlueCarp at 07:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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I saw this bumper sticker on a car in the Super Target parking lot in Glendale:

 I LOVE MY COUNTRY. I just hate the corporations that run her.

"What corporations?" I wondered.

Certainly not the corporation that made the car with the bumper upon which the sticker was placed. 

Certainly not the corporation that drilled for the oil that was refined into gasoline that enabled the car with the bumper upon which the sticker was placed to run.

Certainly not the corporation that owned the parking lot in which the car with the bumper upon which the sticker was placed was parked.

Certainly not the corporation in which the owner of the car in the parking lot with with the bumper upon which the sticker was placed was inside buying things made by other corporations.

Maybe the person did not really hate corporations after all. Maybe the person was a pretentious, patchouli smelling white guy with dreadlocks and a trust fund.

If the person really hated corporations, they did not seem to have a problem giving them money or taking advantage of their goods and services when it was convenient for them.

That is a rather convenient form of "hate."

Posted by BlueCarp at 06:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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I know they have a historical connection, but why do magazines insist on categorizing the two together? Denver's Westword, like most magazines, is guilty.

When I am looking for a blues band, I am not looking for a jazz band. Not even close.

Do Muddy Waters and Miles Davis sound similar? No. How about Spyro Gyra and Robert Johnson? Again, no.

Let's stop this unnecessary and confusing practice. List "Jazz" and "Blues" separately.

Posted by BlueCarp at 06:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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One of my guilty pleasures is ESPN's boxing reality show "The Contender."

Sixteen professional boxers started on the show, and each week two fight. The winner advances to the next round. The loser goes home.

The fights are five rounds. ESPN appears to show the entire fight, but they are edited for dramatic effect. Perhaps too much effect.

You know a big punch is coming when the video goes to slow motion and the music rises ominously and the camera cuts to the punchee's girlfriend covering her eyes.

The foley artist no doubt works overtime overdubbing the sound of gloves hitting skin. He could tone it down a bit. Each punch sounds like a two-by-four slapping a naugahyde couch.

Posted by BlueCarp at 07:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Bruce Jenkins of the San Francisco Chronicle says Mark McGwire should be in the baseball Hall of Fame, despite his use of illegal performance enhancing drugs.

His rationale is

that you'd be a fool to pinpoint McGwire, Bonds or any other individual when hundreds of their contemporaries were committing the same, nebulous crime.

Ignoring the assertion that taking illegal performance enhancing drugs is somehow a "nebulous" offense, Jenkins' rationale is childish.

It is what eight year kids say when they get caught doing something wrong: "My friends are doing it, too!"

The thought process is flawed. Yes, other people do it. Yes, other people get away with it.

Now, remind me, how do those facts change anything? YOU did it. YOU got caught. YOU get punished.

The concept is simple: Just because others get away with something is no reason not to punish those that get caught.

Perry Mason never told a jury "Sure, my client robbed the bank. But other bank robberies remain unsolved. How can you convict my client when others have gotten away with it?"

Perry Mason never made that argument for one reason. It is stupid.

Posted by BlueCarp at 09:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Kellen Winslow, Jr., has yet to play a down in the NFL.

After he was drafted out of the University of Miami by the Cleveland Browns, he messed himself up pretty good by wrecking on a motorcycle. He sat out two years of football. He still has not fully recovered.

Despite the injuries and lack of playing time, Winslow still thinks highly of himself.

According to an Associated Press story:

"I hate to be brash," Winslow said with a smile. "But I think my 90 percent is still better than every tight end out there."

Maybe one day he will actually play in an NFL game and put up. Until then, he can shut up.

Posted by BlueCarp at 06:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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ESPN.com has a poll captioned "Best Monday Night Football Moment."

There are twenty choices. Among them:

"Dick Anderson intercepts Terry Bradshaw four times (Dec. 3, 1973)"

"Bo Jackson rambles for 221 yards (Dec. 30, 1987)"

"Earl Campbell runs for 199 yards and four touchdowns (Nov. 20, 1978) "

"Jerry Rice's 3 touchdown catches to set NFL career record (Sept. 5, 1994""

"Rookie Randy Moss goes for 5 catches, 190 yards and two touchdowns (Oct. 5, 1998)"

None of these choices is a solitary moment.

Dick Anderson had four interceptions. That's four moments.  

Bo Jackson ran for 221 yards. Since a football field is 100 yards long, that was at least three moments.

Earl Campbell? At least three moments.

Jerry Rice? Three.

Randy Moss? Five.

Threse people are paid to write. They should use the English language correctly. Perhaps they meant to ask for the "Best Monday Night Football Performance." That, however, is not what they asked.

Another option is "Howard Cosell announces John Lennon's been killed (Dec. 8, 1980)."

That probably qualifies as a "moment." But it certainly is not the "best" anything. Perhaps the "saddest" moment or "most shocking" moment. But "best?" No.

I am no Joe Theisman fan, but it is a little cruel to make "Lawrence Taylor breaks Joe Theismann's leg (Nov. 18, 1985)" an option.

Two options encompass entire games: "John Elway and Joe Montana in shootout (Oct. 17, 1994)" and "Brett Favre wins one for his father (Dec. 22, 2003)."

Indeed, it strains credulity to claim a three hour professional football game qualifies as a mere "moment." A "moment" is, of course, an imprecise measurement, but not that imprecise. 

Posted by BlueCarp at 05:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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