Protesting Too Much
Good thing people were not around during the Cretacious period. The environmental Chicken Littles would be blaming the demise of the dinosaurs on human activity.
Sometimes, just maybe sometimes, it ain't our fault.
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July 26, 2006
True Dat
Thierry Smith, on AM 950 The Fan, on Allen Iverson: "Most of his past is behind him."
Hell, I'd even go so far as to say all of it is.
July 25, 2006
At Coors Field
The Rockies lost 1-0 to the Cardinals Tuesday night at Coors Field.
Jason Jennings was the tough-luck loser. Jennings pitched a complete game four hitter. The only run came on an Albert Pujols’ home run to right field on a change up about four inches off the dirt. Jennings said Pujols was the only guy in he has ever faced that was strong enough to hit that pitch out of the park.
It was Pujols’ 33rd homer of the year.
It was only the third 1-0 game in Coors Field history.
It was only the second time in franchise history that the Rockies have pitched back-to-back complete games.
Jason Jennings was the tough-luck loser. Jennings pitched a complete game four hitter. The only run came on an Albert Pujols’ home run to right field on a change up about four inches off the dirt. Jennings said Pujols was the only guy in he has ever faced that was strong enough to hit that pitch out of the park.
It was Pujols’ 33rd homer of the year.
It was only the third 1-0 game in Coors Field history.
It was only the second time in franchise history that the Rockies have pitched back-to-back complete games.
Chris Carpenter got the win. He scattered seven hits over 7 1/3 innings. Lefty Randy Flores came in to finish the eighth and got lefthanders Todd Helton and Brad Hawpe out. Jason Isringhausen let two runners on base in the ninth, but didn't let them score. He got his 28th save.
* A light ran was falling at Coors Field in the first inning.
Several fans unfolded their umbrellas, thereby both blocking the view and letting the rain run off into the laps of the unfortunate people behind them.
There is no need to bring an umbrella into a stadium. They should be banned. A cheap fold up poncho from Wal-Mart is just as effective as an umbrella and easier to carry.
* Todd Helton’s theme song every time he comes to bat is “Slow Ride” by Foghat. Is that a comment on the steady deterioration of his skills as he approaches his mid-30’s?
On the other hand, Barry Bonds did not really reach his prime until his late-30’s.
* Clint Barmes beat out an infield grounder in the fifth inning for a hit in his 13th consecutive game.
* When Albert Pujols broke a zero-zero tie in the sixth with a homerun to right field, the crowd erupted like the game was being played on the banks of the Mississippi. It sounded as if we were in a stadium named after a different beer.
And who drinks Busch beer? If you are drinking Busch beer and it is not coming out of a keg and you are not wearing Greek letters on your chest, you are in the minority. Busch is not exactly the flagship brand of the company.
Why didn’t they name it Budwieser Stadium? Compared to Busch, Bud is a premium lager. Of course, Bud is no Banquet Beer. That’s an honor reserved for Coors.
* Jamey Carroll has John Mellencamp’s “Small Town” played before he comes to the plate. The song includes the line “I was born in a small town.”
Carroll was born in Evansville, Indiana, a town with a metropolitan population of 342,815. I hate to call Mr. Carroll on this, but that’s no small town. Did he think he could get away with this blatant misrepresentation? Not as long as journalistic bulldogs like BlueCarp are on the scene.
Mr. Carroll, you have been exposed. You were born in a medium-sized city.
* Despite being down 1-0, Jason Jennings got a standing ovation at the end of 8 ½ innings for his stellar complete game performance.
* In the bottom of the ninth, with a runner of first base and no outs, Choo Freeman fouled off two bunt attempts. The fans, however, were not booing. They were yelling “Chooooo.”
A New Neville Chamberlain
Rocky Mountain News columnist and University of Colorado law professor Paul Campos makes an absurd statement today.
When I read the headline, "It's best to admit war is evil," I figured it was just a sloppy headline and that Campos did not actually mean to make such a ridiculous statement. Sure, it sounds warm and cuddly to say it, but it is complete nonsense.
Surely he did not actually mean to make such a statement in his column. He did.
"War is always savage, disgusting and evil," Campos wrote. I take no issue with the first two descriptors. The third is absurd.
Was it evil for the allies to take on Hitler and Nazi Germany? Apparently, he thinks so. I would like to hear his argument in favor of that proposition.
Campos says we need "to remind ourselves of how rare those occasions are when it truly is the lesser evil."
So, according to Campos, stopping Hitler was a "lesser evil" than allowing Nazi Germany to take over Europe and extinquish every living Jew on the planet.
Absurd.
July 21, 2006
Too Thin and Too Rich
Kate Hudson won a libel award in the British courts because the UK version of the National Enquirer wrote that Hudson was "painfully thin."
In a related story, Kirstie Alley has agreed to an exclusive interview with the magazine if they refer to her as "not quite as chunky as she was a year ago."
July 19, 2006
Our Mother Tongue
Reporter Javier Erik Olvera wrote today that a person's "name is being withheld by the Rocky Mountain News because he is the victim of an alleged sex crime."
One can not be the victim of an "alleged" crime. An "alleged" crime may or may not have happened. Therefore, the person may or may not be a victim. To call a person a "victim" when he might not be one is incorrect.
One may, however, be an "alleged" victim of a crime. That is what Mr. Olvera should have written.
Denver Sports Fans: At Least You Aren't Islanders Fans
After firing their General Manager after only one month, the New York Islanders hired the guy that was their back-up goalie just last year to be the new GM.
Here is the new boss.
Go Islanders!
Awful Jersey
Who designed this? Harvey Fierstein?
July 18, 2006
What's the Over/Under?
On how long Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson stay married?
On how long George W. Bush gets booed when he speaks to the NAACP?
On how much money the mob made with its corrupt construction and labor connections on the Big Dig?
Freedom Takes Another Shot to the Solar Plexus
From a Reuters story:
"The U.S. House of Representatives overwhelmingly approved a bill earlier this month that would prohibit most forms of Internet gambling and make it illegal for banks and credit card companies to make payments to online gambling sites.
"A similar bill is pending in the U.S. Senate, where supporters are scrambling to win passage before an August recess."
Heaven forbid private individuals get to decide what they want to do with their money. Yes, some people get addicted to it and ruin their lives. Just like alcohol. Just like pornography. Just like cigarettes. Just like the internet. Just like fatty burgers.
Freedom is dangerous. It means people get to make bad decisions.
John Wayne, playing Davy Crockett in The Alamo, said "It means people can live free, talk free, go or come, buy or sell, be drunk or sober, however they choose."
Not any more.
Arizona Repbulican Senator Jon Kyl does not like freedom. Kyl said "I am hopeful that legislation I intend on moving through the Senate this year will provide the Justice Department with the tools necessary to continue aggressively pursuing those that wish to circumvent the rules and engage in this sort of illegal activity."
Our resources can be better spent. We have terrorists to catch, but Kyl wants to make sure the Justice Department has the time to prosecute gamblers. That is absurd. Lewis Carroll would have rejected the notion as too ridiculous for the Mad Hatter.
Happy Unbirthday to you, Senator Kyl.
July 17, 2006
Unkind to Libeskind
Slates' architecture critic Witold Rybczynski does not like architect Daniel Libeskind's addition to Denver's Art Museum. He explains why here.
Several of the comments to Rybcynski's slide show are relevant. One points out the similarity between the Denver Art Museum and Libeskind's design of the Toronto Renaissance ROM.
They are remarkably similar.
More Food
My wife also bought a can of "creamed corn." There is no cream in this. It is just smushed corn in smushed corn sauce.
The good, whole kernels get packaged as niblets. The kernels that fail to make it through the de-cobbing process without damage go in the "creamed corn" can.
Do not be fooled.
Food
My wife bought some dry soup mix. The brand is "Simply Asia." The flavor was "Sesame Chicken." Then, in smaller print, the package said "vegetarian."
Alchemists were unsuccesful turning lead into gold, but the folks at Simply Asia have turned chicken into a vegetable.
July 15, 2006
Her Pride Was Hurt, Too
I wonder if Michelle Wie would have gotten sick if she was about to make the cut?
Wie's latest failed attempt to make the cut in a men's event was cut short when she "withdrew" after nine holes of her second round with "heat exhaustion."
"Withdrew" is synonymous with "quit." "Heat exhaustion" is synonymous with "tired of getting my ass kicked and I really don't want to play anymore."
I am no doctor, but I bet she would have felt fine if she was about to make the cut.
July 11, 2006
A Rose by Any Other Name
I am a proud trial lawyer. I represent those that have been injured by the negligence of others.
Some in the American Trial Lawyers Association believe that the phrase "trial lawyer" has taken on negative connotations. Therefore, they want to change the name of ATLA to the "American Association for Justice."
A name change won't change anyone's perception of plaintiffs' attorneys. If Roseanne Barr changes her name to "Angelina Jolie," how long would the public be fooled?
If ATLA becomes the "American Association for Justice," it would be the same organization with a different name. What's the point? There is no reason to be ashamed of being a "trial lawyer."
If they must make a change, I would vote for "Justice League of America." It would be just as silly, just as effective, and members could call each other "Superfriends."
Until then, call me a "trial lawyer."
Angelina Jolie
She's a beautiful woman.
Too bad she's tatted up like a Daytona Beach stripper.
July 08, 2006
The Natural State
Just about to start a road trip with the family.
We are going to see the grandparents in Arkansas. Hot Springs, to be exact, where the signs entering the city proclaim "Boyhood Home of Bill Clinton."
They don't mention that the reason it was his boyhood home was that his mother moved from boring Hope, Arkansas, to the happening Hot Springs. They've got horse racing in Hot Springs! Gambling! Drinking! And, yes, even natural hot springs!
"The Man from Hot Springs" sounds less inspirational and more like an Arthur Miller play than "The Man from Hope." "The Man from Hope" is more inspirational and sounds more like a Frank Capra movie.
It's much more fun.
Soooieeeeee Pig!
July 07, 2006
Management Tip
The Fred Factor, by Denver's own Mark Sanborn, is a great book on motivation. It talks about self-motivated people, how to find them and how to create them.
Sanborn mentions Dr. Michael LeBoeuf's book The Greatest Management Principle in the World. LeBoeuf says that "we don't get the behavior we hope for, beg for, or demand. We get the bahavior we reward."
So simple. So true. So completely lost on most managers.
July 06, 2006
Twisted Cork Cafe
8048 West US Hwy 50, Salida, CO
(across the street from the Wal-Mart)
719-539-7384
I am no food critic. But I know if when I am happy after eating a meal.
I was not happy after leaving the Twisted Cork Café in Salida.
The service was bad. The appetizer dishes were never bussed. Water glasses went unfilled until a specific request was made, then they remained unfilled.
The “Margarita Seafood” was allegedly made with a tequila sauce. I could not tell, since the entire thing tasted like rice cereal. Something called “Margarita Seafood” should not be bland. The shrimp were overcooked. The only other thing that might have been classified as “seafood” was some indiscernible fish-like flakes hiding in the rice.
The crab wonton appetizer, however, was very good. Apparently they wanted us to remember that, since the serving plate, sauce dish and individual saucers were left on the table throughout dinner as a reminder of the good part of the meal. They may still be there today.
My wife’s order of shrimp scampi was better than my dish. Her shrimp were much bigger than the ones on my plate, and were not overdone.
Another dining companion ordered the Buffalo Burger, which he enjoyed.
He did not enjoy the wait as we tried to pay our bill. Despite a wait for seating in the lobby, the wait staff seemingly did not want us to leave. They didn’t bring the bill after we had finished our main courses, stacked the plates and silverware and got out our wallets and waved them over our heads.
Eventually, they deigned to take our money.
My father has eaten on their before and he recommends the place. I can only hope my party attended on a bad night. Perhaps one, two or five people called in sick.
Let That Cocaine Be
Thanks to the magic of the DVD, I just saw “Walk the Line” for the first time.
Joaquin Phoenix was passable as Johnny Cash, but Reese Witherspoon is way too cute and bubbly as June Carter. I love Reese, but she’s much better suited as Elle Woods in “Legally Blonde” than as a world-weary, tour bus-riding, country music singing friend of hell raisers like Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis and Johnny Cash.
And how many times are they going to make this movie?
It always starts with a poor kid. He sings. He gets famous. He gets rich. He womanizes. He drinks. He does pills/reefer/coke and/or glue. He drinks too much. He does too many pills/too much reefer/coke and/or glue. He then either gets cleaned up (Ray Charles and Johnny Cash) and continues to make music and money or dies from the booze/pills/coke and/or glue (Elvis and Jim Morrison).
Have they done The Hank Williams Story? Jimi Hendrix? The Janis Joplin Story is in the works.At least the Joplin story won’t include any womanizing. And if it does, please don’t show it on screen. Unless, of course, Charlize Theron plays Janis.
I can foresee a scene where Janis, played by Theron, meets June Carter, played by Witherspoon. Then they pillow fight.
More Nonsense From a Spoiled American
Mark German of Brighton had a letter to the editor published in the Rocky Mountain News today.
He claims that "[t]ruth is not an absolute. Truth is relative, contextual and varies over time."
Wow. I hope Mr. German does not teach math.
Or have to testify in court. How can you promise "to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth" if truth is "relative, contextual and varies over time?"
Mr. German could make his claim much simpler if he just said "there is no truth." And if there is no truth, there is no sense discussing right and wrong.
I'm right today, but I'll be wrong tomorrow.
What a bleak and existential world Mr. German lives in.
He goes from the philosophically absurd to the simply stupid. He says living in the United States in 2006 "feels like 1938 Germany."
Such an assertion is so idiotic it does not warrant further comment.
But perhaps next week it will be true.
Huggin' It Out
Jeremy Piven received an Emmy nomination for his role in HBO’s Entourage.
Hollywood is slow to recognize greatness.
Piven’s role as James “Droz” Andrews in the underrated PCU is inspired. As the leader of a slacker fraternity on an uptight campus, comparisons to John Belushi in Animal House are inevitable.
But Piven brings a completely different sensibility to Droz than Belushi did to Bluto. Piven takes the character and makes it less of a cartoon and more of a Saturday morning animated television show for kids.
Long before Miller Lite, Droz announced the original Man Law: “You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see? Don't be that guy.”
Indeed. Don’t be that guy.
Piven has remarkable range. He went from playing the rowdy college guy, fighting the uptight administration in PCU, to playing the uptight Dean of the uptight administration fighting the rowdy college guys in Old School. That, my friends, is talent. Not everyone can play both the straight man and the funny man.
Piven is that guy.
July 05, 2006
Dead Thief in Vail
In between reruns of syndicated comedies "Friends" and "Everybody Loves Raymond," WB2 ran a promo for its local news.
The tease announced that Enron CEO Ken Lay had been found dead in Vail. The announcer then informed us that they "would be there with the latest" during their nine o'clock newscast.
"The latest?" My guess is that, like Generalissimo Francisco Franco, Ken Lay will still be dead.
