BlueCarp: December 2004 Archives

Friedman is Correct This Time.

New York Times' columnist Thomas Friedman actually wrote a cogent column in the December 23, 2004 edition of the Times. (That means, of course, that I agree with him for once.)

Friedman sums up the Iraq War:

However this war started, however badly it has been managed, however much you wish we were not there, do not kid yourself that this is not what it is about: people who want to hold a free and fair election to determine their own future, opposed by a virulent nihilistic minority that wants to prevent that. That is all that the insurgents stand for.

Those in Iraq murdering their countrymen are not fighting FOR anything. They are fighting AGAINST freedom.

Even the New York Times recognizes that.

(Friedman's column was reprinted in today's Rocky Mountain News. To use the New York Times' link, you must register with The Times. It is free).

11:06 AM

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That's Not My Beer.

A Denver police officer, Lt. Timothy Rusk, was arrested by a Jefferson County Deputy for driving while intoxicated.

I have no idea what actually happened, but you have to love it when a cop uses the excuses he has accumulated over the years.

According to Sarah Langbein's story in the Rocky Mountain News today, open beer bottles were found in the console between the driver's seat and the passenger's seat. There was no passenger in the car when Rusk was pulled over.

According to the JeffCo Sheriff's report, the Denver officer said that he was driving a friend's car and the bottles were already in it when he got in to drive it.

Sure. And Carmelo's weed belonged to a friend.

Rusk's lawyer claims that the breath tests administered to his client were corrupted by JeffCo personnel. His client "got screwed by the incompentence of the JeffCo sheriff's office."

What happened to the Code of Silence? I did not think cops were supposed to turn on other cops.

Or does that thin blue line get erased when a cop's own ass is in a sling and he thinks he can save himself by calling out his brethren?

That's a nice convenient code. Fellow cops can do no wrong as long as the public is getting screwed by the incompetence. But when a cop thinks he's getting screwed, he can start singing like it's Amateur Night at the Apollo.

Do-Re-Mi, Lt. Rusk.

And tell that friend to clean out his car.

10:26 AM |

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His head is where?

December 23

Denver Post columnist Terry Frei sat in for Irv Brown this afternoon on KKFN 950 The Fan. Terry mixed it up with Irv's usual partner, Joe Williams, and the conflict made for good radio.

Terry and Joe disagreed on the future of the Colorado University football program.

At one point, Terry said that some CU fans have their "heads in the sand."

Joe vehemently replied that he didn't have his head in the sand.

Terry was polite.

An impolite person might have said that everyone knows Joe does not have his head in the sand, since it is too far up Gary Barnett's backside already.

But only an impolite person would think of such a thing.

4:44 PM

Say What?

A teenage girl is suing to stop the distribution of a video game that uses an image of her topless.

She was 17 at the time she agreed to appear in the video used in the game, but now at the more mature 18 she has had second thoughts.

Her lawyer, Jim McClendon, says that she was too young to give valid consent at the time the video was shot, and wants the images removed from the game before it is distributed.

"We're just trying to nip it where it is now," McClendon said.

Nice choice of words, counselor.

She must have been happy to get the whole thing off her chest.

Posted by BlueCarp at 11:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Bad Writing.

December 22

Writers should never use the words "arguably," "ubiquitous," or "plethora."

Anything worth writing about is arguable. Therefore, arguably, the word adds nothing to a description.

"Ubiquitous" is a big word. There is another word that is just as good but not as pretentious. Nevertheless, the word "ubiquitous" is everywhere. It is also widespread.

Like "ubiquitous," "plethora" is a good word for the SAT, but little else. There is an excess, profusion and abundance of those who use "plethora" too much.

Cornering the Market on the Williamses.

Now that the Toronto Raptors have dumped Vince Carter and gotten Aaron Williams and Eric Williams in return, the Raptors have 38% of all the Williams in the NBA.

Aaron and Eric join Alvin in Toronto.

What year is it, Jim?

The Denver Post's Jim Armstrong must be on vacation already. His column today quotes Jerry Seinfeld from about eight years ago:

Jerry Seinfeld, on this crazy, mixed-up sports world of ours: "The players change teams, the teams move from city to city. The only thing that stays the same is the uniforms. We're literally rooting for laundry."

Tomorrow, expect quotes from Henny Youngman and Bob Hope.

Posted by BlueCarp at 11:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Flax Seed Oil?

Barry Bonds says he thought he was getting flax seed oil rubbed on his body, and he didn't realize it was actually a steroid.

Why flax seed? What was that supposed to do? Make him shiny?

I'm going out to GNC, buy some flax seed oil, apply it liberally and see how much bigger my skull grows.

That's what it did to Barry.

Posted by BlueCarp at 07:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese

I definitely see the face of a woman, but I think it looks a lot more like Bernadette Peters than the blessed Virgin Mary.

Then again, I was raised Baptist, not Catholic.

Posted by BlueCarp at 07:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

BlueCarp

Blue: 1. A primary color. 2. Sad. 3. Off-color or bawdy. Carp: 1. A fish. 2. To find fault, complain.

December 24, 2004